Movie reviews of The Massie Twins

Despite the ludicrous courtroom shenanigans, Miracle on 34th Street is primarily a sentimental, heartwarming piece, designed to be a fluffy bit of yuletide entertainment. Review

The romantic moments are unusually entertaining, largely thanks to the humor applied, turning some of the flirtation into comedy skits and others into hilarious notes on Diego’s effeminate facade, generally to the amusement of his foes, who are only further disarmed. Review

Though the runtime is far too long and the gags are never laugh-out-loud funny, Russell is simply perfect as the kooky mentor keen on disrupting normalcy and injecting carefree spontaneity into every situation; were it not for her agreeable portrayal and comic timing, Auntie Mame would be entirely forgettable. Review

As “Nine to Five follows a loopy heist-movie formula, with the three heroines hilariously scheming to correct their misdeeds, the humor tends to win out over the frivolities (amplified by upbeat musical cues). Review

At least the music by David C. Williams is intermittently amusing, and the order of deaths is unpredictable, though these elements are not enough to save the project from an exhausting amount of lulls, countless bad ideas, and a ludicrous finale designed like a hokey rip-off of Predator. Review

The visuals are absorbing, the notes on all-consuming love are moving, and the music by Tom Holkenborg is grand, but this finale precipitately and utterly derails what could have been a harmonious fantasy by injecting a feeble dose of modern people’s incompatible longings. Review

Though the tone is consistently – and purposely – insincere and juvenile, the story and its execution are terribly ineffective (and intermittently nonsensical), lending to a routinely yawn-inducing sci-fi yarn. Review

The unstoppable pairing is arranged as a challenge for Jan, yet the writers are smart enough to incorporate a dash of proper comeuppance, some cinematic forcefulness, and clever parting shots. Review

Even with few surprises, an unfortunately tidy ending, and largely uninspired scripting, it’s rare to see a theatrical killer animal movie (and rarer still to see one with an A-list star), which makes Beast a decent watch (its brief running time is highly appropriate) and a dependably suspenseful exercise in Mother Nature vengefully striking back. Review

And though the film carries on a touch too long (a few sequences serve only to reiterate), the flurry of shouting matches and the matchmaking romances keep the humor consistent. Review

The mysteries and motives may take a bit too long to come to light (and are decidedly difficult to buy into), but the delays create additional opportunities for boo-moments and gore. Review

At least the acting is acceptable; the stars generally feel as if portraying themselves. Unfortunately, the dialogue isn’t nearly as genuine, with many lines sounding as if copied from other properties, of which the writer has minimal understanding or a voice too unconvincing to confidently mimic. Review

This picture clearly demonstrates its inspirational and influential qualities (on a generation and beyond, lending to countless teen sex comedies to come), paving the way for edgier combinations of puerile recklessness, nudity, imbibing, cursing, vengeful shenanigans, and absurdist fantasy. Review

Though the film sticks with few sets and characters, resembling its stage origins, it’s still effective as a theatrical relationship drama, examining both youngsters and the older pairing of Rosemary and Howard Bevans, resulting in moderate humor but also considerable unease... Review

The film isn’t as creative or exciting as it could have been, what with its general lack of surprises, but for fans of the series, Prey is a worthy addition, bringing back one of the horror genre’s greatest out-of-this-world killers. Review

Every confrontation and showdown is ultimately just a setup for a joke, doused in blood and gore as they may be, turning Bullet Train into something along the lines of a live-action cartoon, full of uninspired assassins accidentally succeeding in slaughtering one another as they trade pretentious philosophical contemplations. Review

Fonda and Voight are absolutely exceptional, giving this tale a staggering genuineness and depth. Not a single line of dialogue sounds exaggerated or unconvincing. Review

Familial interactions and work-related issues put a pause on the adventure, though they’re useful for demonstrating vivid imaginations and incredibly perceptive people deciphering clues from cryptic references. But they’re not enough to stifle the entertainment value – as well as the nail-biting finale. Review

Williams is a one-man army, easily carrying the film with his larger-than-life personality and ceaseless energy; no level of graveness (which lends to a poignant conclusion) can dampen the master comedian’s effervescence and wit. Review

Most effective of all, however, is the unpredictable nature of his storytelling and moviemaking; it’s hypnotically nightmarish (but peppered with hilarity, alternating chills with feel-good valiance), highly original (a difficult feat for this era of cinema), and thoroughly entertaining – both as a rollercoaster ride and a popcorn flick. Review

Boasting an energizing blend of Western showdowns in sci-fi environs at the climax – as well as a few impressive, expansive exterior shots of the station – this space-going actioner is an entertaining, competent, unique mix of genre films. Review

Some of these moments are amusing, making use of slimy puppets, tentacled creatures, pulsating wounds, and buckets of fake blood, but unconvincing miniatures and a terribly unoriginal, notably derivative premise (and a silly conclusion) work to keep this early ’90s deep-sea monster movie an obscure curio... Review

Though it’s overlong and concluded with too many codas that don’t truly fix or resolve anything, there’s still fun to be had with Gosling and de Armas’ spirited teamwork; it’s difficult to tire of their violence-soaked, coordinated assaults against swarms of nameless, faceless, balaclava-clad, gun-toting soldiers. Review

It hardly matters that the denouement is so pointlessly overlong that it threatens to make viewers give up on ever learning the truth – or feel contented with such a storytelling void. Review